


Expendable

by AlyssAlenko



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Body Horror, Destruction, Eden Prime (Mass Effect), Emotional Hurt, Geth, Graphic Description, Graphic Description of Corpses, Grief/Mourning, Hurt, M/M, Mind Control, Planet Destruction, Rage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 07:02:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18047813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyssAlenko/pseuds/AlyssAlenko
Summary: With a price he didn't want to pay, Saren finds out the hard way that his mind and body are no longer his own.





	Expendable

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Velasa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Velasa/gifts).



Saren paced back and forth along the platform, watching and waiting as Sovereign's whispers in his head grew louder. The geth were heading towards the other platform with demolition charges to plant around the beacon and blow the wretched human colony sky high, but it was taking too long; he’d seen the Alliance ship touch down. Scowling, his mandibles flicked out in annoyance. He  _ needed _ to get to the beacon first to discover the location of the Conduit and it was going to take a lot more than a few humans to stop him. He'd never forgiven them for Shanxi and the death of his brother. Sovereign had encouraged his campaign against their miserable species, given him an edge, something he could use, nevermind his status as one of the first Spectres.

What the Council didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

The tiny enhancements Sovereign had given him allowed Saren to hear footsteps as they rang out behind him, the sound of a weapon being drawn tearing through the air as the encroacher rolled across the platform—presumably to one of the stacks of crates Saren had walked past only moments before. He turned slowly towards the noise and froze, his entire body going rigid with recognition at the face behind the shotgun leveled at his carapace.

_ Nihlus _ .

His familiar face relaxed into a lopsided grin at the sight of Saren. He lowered his gun as he closed the distance between them, grasping Saren's forearm in greeting as Saren brought his hand up to rest on Nihlus’ shoulder, the two of them resting their foreheads together. Saren’s heart pounded in his ears; anger, confusion, love and fear flickered across his face in quick succession, though he made a valiant effort to hide them. Of everyone who could have shown up, why did it have to be Nihlus? Sovereign had been clear: find the beacon, use it, and leave no trace so that they couldn't be followed to the Conduit. And now Saren’s lover was here on the planet he was going to wipe from existence.

Nihlus looked him in the eyes. “This isn’t your mission, Saren. What are you doing here?”   
  
“The Council thought you could use some help on this one.” Saren gave Nihlus’ shoulder a reassuring squeeze, the lie coming to him almost immediately.

Sovereign's whispers faded into the background.   
  
Nihlus turned and surveyed the area, taking in the charred landscape, the red smoke filling the sky, the dead bodies strewn across the ground and so many more colonists impaled on those spikes turning into the husks he'd encountered on his way to the spaceport. Only ruins remained of the once beautiful colony. He shook his head and took a step back…so much for paradise. Saren stood behind him, fighting with himself as he turned around, the two of them back to back, like old times—only this time Saren wasn’t protecting Nihlus’ flank. He couldn’t decide how he wanted to handle the situation; if anyone could stop him, it was Nihlus and his bleeding heart…make him question everything he was doing here, make him stop to think about what he was doing. 

_ Expendable _ . The word echoed in his mind, bouncing around his skull and he knew what he needed to do; it was regrettable that it had come to this, but nothing was going to stop him.   
  
“I wasn’t expecting to find the geth here.” Nihlus muttered. “The situation’s bad.”   
  
“Don’t worry,” Saren said, turning to face his lover’s back and drawing his shotgun silently and single-handedly, pointing it at the back of Nihlus’ head—it was like he was watching a recording filmed through his eyes, a prisoner in his own mind and he couldn't stop it. 

He couldn’t stop it.

_ There has to be another way!  _

His mouth moved but the words weren’t his. “I’ve got it under control.”

_ His death isn’t necessary! _   
  
His finger moved but he wasn’t controlling his muscles as he squeezed the trigger. Nihlus crumpled to the ground, blue blood pooling under his crest and fixed, unseeing eyes staring into the red sky above. Saren knelt beside his lover’s body, drawing his fingers over his eyelids to close his eyes. This wasn't what he'd wanted, unable to understand what greater purpose would require  _ this. _ Nihlus shouldn't have even  _ been _ there! The whispers told him to focus. It was only a matter of time before the humans caught up to him and he had yet to use the beacon.  _ The beacon _ . His whole purpose for being here. Wasting no time, he stood, high-tailing it onto the tram and heading to the other platform—what Sovereign wanted, Sovereign got. 

_ Submission was preferable to extinction _ . 

He stepped off the train and approached the nearest geth, looking around to admire their handiwork for a second before he spoke. “Set the charges. Destroy the entire colony. Leave no evidence that we were here.”

He'd had enough of this colony to last a lifetime.   
  
The geth tilted its head in acknowledgement, and Saren stomped over to the beacon and activated it, the whispers in his head growing louder. They seemed…almost  _ giddy _ as the beacon caught hold of him, lifting him off the ground. His head was on fire, back arching of its own accord, several images flashing behind his eyes; long forgotten secrets, buried on other worlds. They were fragmented, and out of order, but he recognized a few landmarks, this beacon only one piece of a larger puzzle. Of course the Protheans wouldn't have made it easy to find the Conduit, lest their map fall into the wrong hands. The field around the beacon dissipated releasing Saren and dropping him to the ground on his hands and knees, his head swimming. He stood shakily, dusting himself off and making his way from the spaceport, leaving the geth behind to clean up the mess. He'd gotten what he came for and he needed a stiff drink. Or twelve.

But even as Sovereign pulled away from Eden Prime faster than a normal ship should have been able, Saren knew the geth had failed to demolish Eden Prime. Saren sat in the dark, alone, fingertips steepled flat against one another and his hands in front of his mouth which was set in a thin line. His mandibles flicked out as he stared ahead, unseeing, his drink sitting forgotten by his elbow. The cold, hard truth was  _ he'd killed Nihlus _ . The one who had been there for him for so long, the one Saren could count on since the death of his brother, and now his love lay dead  _ by his own hand _ . Maybe it was better this way. Nihlus wouldn't have submitted to the Reapers—would have fought tooth and nail against them...and they would have destroyed him. It would have destroyed Saren, the two of them on opposing sides. 

The metallic click of heels on metal drew his attention.   
  
Benezia cleared her throat and placed her arms behind her back—standing at full attention. “We identified the ship that touched down on Eden Prime. The Normandy. A human Alliance vessel. It was under the command of Captain Anderson. They managed to save the colony.”   
  
_ Anderson _ . He should have  _ known _ .   
  
Saren put one hand over his face, deep in thought. Humans… why did they have to be everywhere? Was it not enough that they had killed his brother?  _ This _ was why he was working with the Reapers—the humans would never submit to Reaper rule, and they’d be wiped out when the Reapers arrived. A fitting end, but at what cost? He felt at odds with himself; part of him cool and calculating, the other half raging because of what he'd done. What he'd been  _ forced _ to do. The beacon on Eden Prime had been a major victory, which had brought them closer to finding the conduit, and one step closer to the return of the reapers. As long as he continued to do good work like this, Sovereign, would continue to find him useful.   
  
Failure was not an option.

“And the beacon?” Saren asked.   
  
“One of the humans may have used it.” Benezia continued.

Saren jumped up, his unfeeling and uncaring façade cracking; this kind of slip up was not to be tolerated. At least he knew who to blame for Nihlus being down there—the one human who always seemed to get in his way. And he couldn’t have someone… a  _ human _ someone… dogging his steps trying to foil him. Saren would bring the Reapers back. This human would only get in his way, daring to make Nihlus’ sacrifice mean nothing. The rage bubbling inside emerged as a low growl in the back of his throat, talons curling around his glass, hurling it towards her. Benezia shifted a millimeter to her right to avoid being hit, the glass exploding against the wall, shards tinkling as they scattered across the floor.

“This human must be eliminated.” Saren hissed.

His tirade ended only when he grabbed Matriarch Benezia’s face—she still exuded calm; she’d sat through the whole thing completely unfazed, as he should have. Saren took a deep breath to calm himself and released her face, taking a step back as the rage retreated and cold logic took its place. Her ability to keep a cool head under pressure was why he needed someone like her in his corner… for now. Everyone was expendable. 

And Saren could either accept it, or join them in oblivion.


End file.
